Tuesday, December 21, 2010

RECALL NOTICE


Important Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units (code named Adam and Eve), resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality" or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily characterized by loss of moral judgment.

Other symptoms include (but are not limited to):

·       Loss of direction
·       Foul vocal emissions
·       Amnesia of origin
·       Lack of peace and joy
·       Selfish or violent behavior
·       Depression or confusion in mental component Fearful

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service FREE of charge to correct the SIN defect.

The number to call in your area is F-A-I-T-H. Simply believe that Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again, and your unit will be regenerated. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will repair and replace it with:

·       Forgiveness
·       Love
·       Joy
·       Peace
·       Longsuffering
·       Gentleness
·       Goodness
·       Faith
·       Meekness
·       Temperance

Please see operating manual HOLY BIBLE for further details on the use of these fixes. [ See sections 1Cor. 15:1-4;  Eph. 1:7;  and Gal. 5:16-26 ].

WARNING: 
Continuing to operate any human unit without receiving this repair fully voids any and all Manufacturer's warranties (explicit and/or implied), exposing the owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list; including potential legal judgment for damage to other manufactured items including but not limited to other human units. Such continued operation shall result in the owner/operator being permanently impounded. [For free emergency service before it's too late: call upon the Lord Jesus Christ who loved us and gave Himself a ransom for our sins].

DANGER: 
Any and all human units not receiving this recall action shall be destroyed by fire. 

This action has been authorized by the Creator.

2 comments:

Kevl said...

This is an edited version of the notice that Jan sent me via email.

Hope it's a blessing to you!

Kev

Jan said...

I got it from Bob Nyberg. I don't know where it originated but I thought it was extremely clever.

JanH